Work Of Term 1/2

This term we have been looking at ways to make our writing more interesting for the reader.

We have used the following criteria to guide us:

• Changing the word order of a sentence
• Using literary devices such as metaphor, simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia and  personification
• Using specific verbs and adjectives
• Using  show, don’t tell techniques
• Using different sentence beginnings and lengths

Here are some examples of my writing this term.

Show don’t tell

Excited-I was very excited to go to the circus.-Butterflies in my stomach. I’m buzzing with excitement. Giggling for no reason. Impatiently waiting for everyone to start moving closer to the entrance.

Sad- I was very sad because someone in my family died.- My eyes balling with tears unable to stop. Thinking about all the happy times what we did together made me cry harder so I was unable to breathe.

Angry-I was angry because my brother got me in trouble.-Furious enough that I could tip over a car but since my brother got me in trouble for not doing something I didn’t do. It feels like I’m ready to burst out with anger.

Writing to music

The escape

I slowly crawl low down to the floor. Being at quite as I can. I listen out for guards marching around the castle looking for me. “You, stop!” someone shouts. I get up of the floor. I run as fast as I can. There is barely any light. I Bump into someone twice my size. He grabs my arms, he takes me to a seler. I break free. I run for my life. I see the light of the sun I run and don’t stop. “I shall never return” I say to myself.

The music I writ it to

The tired boy

Tiredly he walks around the zoo. He couldn’t get any sleep the night before  because he  was so excited about the surprise that his mum told him about. So he went to bed early that night but while his younger brother was sleeping he was awake thinking about what they were going to be doing and where they’re going. Trapped in the zoo he sits on a bench looking at all the animals that he had never seen in person. He knew most of the names of the animals but some of them he thought that they were extraordinary. Having witnessed these new animals, he added them to his animal research essay that he was doing because he loved animals. Loudly he yawns, everyone looks at him. He laughs at himself with some other children. Embarrassed, his mum , father and brothers faces all look red but he isn’t. He is just sitting there and he looks all proud of himself. Slowly but quickly he starts falling asleep not worried about the world.

My Rage

Mum raced into my room CLAMPING her fists together like she’s going to PUNCH  someone or something , she looked at me with a MASSIVE frown on her face, she says AGGRESSIVELY “ You didn’t pack away the DISHES like I told you To! ” My eyes wider than ever.